Why your midlife transition needn’t become a midlife crisis and why it’s different for women

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Middle age spans the age range of 40 to 65 and it’s during this period that the cliched midlife crisis occurs. But is it just a cliché?

When we think of a midlife crisis we most likely think of the stereotypical male example of running off with a new or younger partner in an expensive sportscar, brought about by the fear of aging and missed opportunities.

But how do women experience the midlife transition?

Middle age is often a stressful time for women.

We may be struggling to cope with hormonal changes which affect our physical and mental health.

Our children are growing up and leaving home and we may find ourselves questioning our role in life now that our children don’t need us so much and motherhood is no longer our primary focus.

Aging and ailing parents mean that we may be transitioning from motherhood to caregivers to our parents leaving less time to explore the changes we would like to make for ourselves.

Many women find themselves dissatisfied or downright unhappy in careers that no longer fulfill them. Our values may have changed or perhaps we need a change in pace and focus?

And for some women, a relationship breakdown at this stage of life leaves them feeling vulnerable, untethered and lost.

All of this can lead to dissatisfaction with life, a lack of motivation and purpose and general feelings of unhappiness and anxiety.

If this resonates with you, here are a few tips to help you manage this transition.

1. Acknowledge how you’re feeling. There’s no need to pretend it isn’t happening and there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that things aren’t right.

2. Take time to reflect on what’s important to you NOW. What’s working in your life? What’s not working for you? Think about your values - they’re likely to have changed over the years. What changes would you really like to make? How can you achieve them?

Put together a simple plan with small, achievable steps to bring yourself closer to your goal. Think small – don’t overwhelm yourself with big, over ambitious actions. It’s likely you won’t achieve them which will only make you feel worse.

3. Make your health your priority. Peri-menopause and menopause is a tumultuous time for many women. There is so much going on in your body and the effects on your physical and mental well-being can be significant. Fortunately menopause is a very high-profile topic at the moment and there’s no stigma attached to admitting that you’re suffering. Take the time to educate yourself about your symptoms and different treatment options. Talk to your friends and family – other women who are experiencing the same transition make a fantastic support network. Don’t be afraid to ask your GP for help.

And if you’re suffering from significant anxiety or depression, don’t ignore it. Speak to your GP and ask about a referral for counselling or therapy.

4. Be thankful for what you’ve got. Consider starting a gratitude journal to record what is good in your life and things to be thankful for each day. Practicing gratitude is known to have a positive impact on our emotions and emotional health. Evidence has shown that journaling for just 5 minutes a day can enhance our long-term happiness by over 10%. Those that pay attention to what is good in their life instead of what is bad are more likely to feel positively about their life.

5. Explore mindfulness. Mindfulness and meditation keep you focussed in the present without interpretation and judgement, rather than rehashing the past or imagining the future. It has been scientifically proven to play a key part in stress reduction and overall happiness. Anyone can do it and it doesn’t need to take up a significant chunk of time. There are plenty of online apps to try for free. It may take some time to learn to let go of your thoughts and focus on the moment, but it is worth persevering. Remember, mindfulness and meditation is a practice, which means you need to keep practising!

6. Consider a Mid-Life Transition Coach. Working with a Life Coach can support you on your journey of change. A life coach will work with you to help you identify what you want to change in your life and support you in making those changes. If you feel stuck and unfulfilled and know that something has to change but not sure what, then life coaching can help you clarify your goals, look at the options available to you, examine what’s holding you back and come up with strategies for overcoming each obstacle to move forward to your goal.

Midlife transition is definitely a time of change, but it should and can be positive change. It’s the perfect time for reflection and re-evaluation. After all, you are entering the second half of your life so do your best to live it to the full.

Contact me on 07904 449595 or email angela@coaching-lifechanges.co.uk to start your journey......